The women I talked to, how­
ever, argued less amongst 
each other than they did with 
themselves. They would offer 
a rendition of hookup culture 
that felt right to them, and then 
second guess it a minute later. 
Iris, a young woman I talked 
to who grew up in the U.S. but 
left for college, struggled with 
this tension throughout our 
entire interview. Although she’s 
participated in hookup culture, 
she wouldn’t call herself a par­
ticipant; although she relishes 
in the “freedom and choice” 
hookup culture gives her, she 
amends that this enjoyment is 
only possible if you “protect 
your heart.” As she was reflect­
ing on the one-night-stands 
she’s had, she wondered aloud, 
“Is it actually bringing joy and 
adding to my life or is it wasting 
my morning trying to kick them 
out?”
To explore this contradiction, 
I read a couple 
personal favorite 
books on the top­
ic to try to make 
sense of the 
public discourse 
around hookup 
culture (I know, I 
spend my free
Noncommittal Sex
& Other Drugs
international student at Haver­
ford,first encountered American 
hookup culture while watching 
an episode of Euphoria (albeit 
a show that exaggerates it), it 
made her question whether she 
should come to the U.S. at all. 
“There were so many things, in­
cluding hookup culture, that. . .I 
couldn’t resonate with,” she told 
me about that time. In conver­
sations around hookup culture, 
it’s important to remind our­
selves that not everyone choos­
es to partake (myself included) 
and many people that appear 
to are not actually hooking up. 
As a feminist, what interested 
me the most about hookup 
culture was about how women 
fair in all of this. I know we fem­
inists have our differences, but 
it’s shocking how opposite the 
feminist conceptions of hookup 
culture are. To oversimplify it, 
half the feminists believe hook­
ing up is empowering, and the 
other half think it’s victimizing.
going crazy with boredom.” A 
third-year in an overseas univer­
sity said it was a good way to 
“decenter men.” An NYU junior 
compared Hinge to Doordash—
as in “Doordashing women to 
you.” The more women I talk to, 
the more confident, self-aware, 
hurt, funny, conflicted stories 
I’m given about hookup culture 
and the way it manifests in their 
lives.
“Hookup” is a wildly frustrat­
ing term, because it can mean 
anything from a teensy peck to 
full-on sex. Whatever happens 
between the sheets, the most 
important part of all “hookups” 
is that they are non-committal 
and often spontaneous. Hook­
up culture refers to the growing 
feeling around young people 
that this type of sexual encoun­
ter is the norm—widespread, 
accepted and, often, expected.
This norm isn’t established ev­
erywhere. When Diana, an
By Squire Annelee Cole
fellow Haver­
ford junior 
described 
hookup culture 
as “an interest­
ing little way to 
keep from 
A
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